


reckless

by Riverdale1586



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Sucicide, Suicidal Peter, Suicidal Thoughts, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Undergae Drug Usage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-03-21 08:19:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13736895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riverdale1586/pseuds/Riverdale1586
Summary: They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, well, that couldn't be more true for Peter Stark-Rogers.  Following in his father's footsteps, Peter spends his nights abusing booze and drugs, living the life that his father, Tony Stark, struggled with in his youth. After a particularly bad night that sends Peter to the hospital, Steve and Tony decide to place him in a new school away from New York, away from his home.





	1. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay quick announcement, this chapter was edited by @burt_macklin_fbi_49, go check her books out because she is n absolute sweetheart. 
> 
>  
> 
> A really bad argument after a series of unfortunate events leads to Tony decideding it'll be best for Peter to stay at a boarding school. Steve's against the idea, however no one can really change Tony's mind once it's made up. 
> 
> Peter's 14 in this.
> 
> Tony and Steve are his guardians.
> 
> Superfamily.
> 
> Self harm.
> 
> Anxiety.
> 
> Underage drinking.
> 
> Underage Drug usage. 
> 
> Okay y'all need to understand that Peter is 14 in this book. He's going to stupid stuff and he's going to be a little bitch about it. He's going to drink and smoke a few times in the beginning of this book. Before anyone comments that it's unreasonable, it's not, I've seen 12 year olds drink and smoke so. He's going to be little bitch in the beginning of the book. Kind of takes after Tony.

Looking out the window Peter watched himself travel farther and farther from the place he once could call home. Buildings passed, landscapes changed, and he already felt himself becoming unattached to the city he loved. Since neither of them spoke, Peter was left alone in the backseat with only his thoughts as company. Although Peter knew how disappointed Happy was, he inwardly wished his uncle attempted conversation. He was aware of the fact that he was being shunned by his family, but Peter couldn't find it in himself to be angry, it was his fault after all. 

 

Two hours past and Peter was dropped off at the entrance of the school, without even so much as a goodbye. It wasn't until Happy pulled away from the curb that Peter felt the ramifications of his actions, he screwed the pooch big time. 

 

Peter looked down, a backpack and two large suitcases were all that he had in his possession. It wasn't a lot, but that's all his parents told him to bring. He grabbed the handles of the suitcases and made his way up the steps of the school. 

 

If the intricate older architecture of the building was anything to go by, Peter knew the cost of admission to the school must have cost his parents a fortune. The exterior of the school was made up of a beautiful red brick with white marble trim, four white marble columns, and three rows of windows which indicated that the schools were 4 stories high. Distracted by the school's beauty Peter almost ignored the fact that the school was surrounded by a large gate. The black gate severed to protect the students from the rest of the world, but the lack of students sent a clear message. The fence kept them isolated from society. Peter was felt that if the school looked like a high-class museum the people inside were probably vain and arrogant. 

 

Peter looked back to the street and noticed that the once open gate was now closed, making him feel as if he was imprisoned in his new school. He grabbed his things once again and slowly made his way up the pavement to the entrance of the school. 

 

Once inside Peters jaw dropped in awe. There was a large swirling staircase that led to each floor, on the first floor there were a handful of rooms that looked to be classrooms and above him was an extravagant crystal chandelier. 

 

He wandered around the school aimlessly for a few minutes before a stern looking woman in a suit ushered him into an office. She pointed to a chair across from her desk and Peter plopped down in the seat without hesitation, setting down his possessions beside his feet. 

 

She rummaged through her desk for a few moments before she took out a folder that looked like it was about to burst due to the abundance of papers being contained inside and handed it to Peter. 

 

"Look through the folder, Mr. Stark," she ordered with a hint of disdain in her voice.

 

Peter hastily flipped through the pages and quickly realized what they were. At the beginning of the folder, there were just transcripts of his good grades or articles about his past science competitions but as the pages progressed there were clippings from the pages of tabloids with his face on them. 

 

"As you can see we are very aware of your past nightly activities, but those days are behind you, right?" 

 

Peter gulped, "Yes."

 

She reached across her desk and grabbed the folder before adding, "You were placed in this school by your parents because of the nefarious actions you made in your past, so it would do you well to adopt a new attitude about your life. This school is a well-respected establishment and you are not to bring it any bad press because of you playboy antics, do you understand me?" 

 

"Yes ma'am," responded Peter as he looked down at his feet. 

 

"Now that we had that chat, I am the headmistress of the school and I will oversee that everything goes well for you today," greeted the headmistress. 

 

She walked over to the door, "Come on, I am going to show you your dormitory."

 

Peter instantly reached for his possessions and followed her out the door. As they walked Peter took the opportunity to take in every detail of the school as she rambled on about his schedule. He analyzed everything from the paintings on the wall to the tiles on the floor. He found the school itself beautiful, but he was worried about the type of people the students at the school would be. Peter really hoped that they weren't all stuck up, but that was highly unlikely due to the type of school he was at.

 

After a short trek, she stopped in front of a door. "And this is your room," The headmistress concluded opening the door to a medium sized dorm room.

 

"Hey man," a student greeted, looking up from his phone, most likely Peter's roommate.

 

Peter gave him a small smile, "Hi."

 

"Any questions?" She asked one last time.

 

"No," Peter mumbled, pulling on his sweater's sleeves.

 

"Well then, set up your room, I will be in my office talking to your parents on the phone. Feel free to drop by when you're done unpacking," she explained before leaving the two boys alone in the room.

 

"There's only one bathroom, so we'll have to share. Feel free to hang up posters and stuff, make this place your home. I'm guessing the headmistress explained the schedule and stuff of that sort?" The boy spoke quickly, Peter could barely understand him.

 

"Yeah, she did," Peter responded bluntly. 

 

"In case you were wondering, I'm James, James William," James held out his hand but Peter did not accept it.

 

"Peter," Peter stated simply.

 

"You don't talk much do you?" James took a pregnant pause, "I'm guessing you don't want to be here?"

 

"How'd you guess?" Peter quipped sarcastically.

 

"Well for starters you're joining the school in the middle of the school year," James said as he threw a ball against the wall and caught it.

 

Peter rolled his eyes dramatically,"It was sarcasm man." 

 

"Oh," James paused again, "Well I'll be leaving for lunch. You gonna be down there?"

 

"Nope," Peter waited for James before he began to unpack. He grabbed his bag and placed his clothes carefully in an organized pile in the small closet. He took out a ziplock with small razors and pills and placed them under all his clothes.

 

 

After unpacking the majority of his things Peter decided to text Ned. 

 

[to Ned] Being here sucks :(

 

[to Ned] Save me

 

[to Ned] I'm literally going to kill myself. I'm so bored.

 

[to Ned] ANSWER ME!!!

 

[from Ned] Pete, as much as it sucks, I really can't do anything about it.

 

[from Ned] You shouldn't have done what you did Peter.

 

[to Ned] but...

 

[to Ned] He could have like grounded me or something instead of sending me off to boarding school!

 

[from Ned] If it makes you feel any better if you behave you can come back to Midtown in September.

 

[to Ned] Sure, like that's going to happen.

 

[from Ned] Gtg I think a teacher noticed me on my phone

 

[to Ned] Okay, bye.

 

Peter sighed and placed his phone on the table. He looked around the room and suddenly everything became so real. He was stuck in this stupid boarding school and there was nothing he could do about it. He wasn't going to see all the people he cared about for a long, long time. No more archery lessons with Clint. No more Russian lessons with Natasha. No more bugging Bruce in his lab. No more trying to lift Thor's hammer. No more asking Wanda stupid questions about her magic. No more building things with his dad. No more pestering his Papa about making more cookies for the both of them. No more anything. Nothing was going to be the same anymore and it was all his fault. If hadn't-

 

A phone rang interrupting his thoughts. It was a facetime request from his pops. 

 

"Hey Peter," Steve greeted in a calm voice.

 

Just by hearing his voice Peter could picture those times when he would get in trouble, back when he was a responsible teen. His papa would always sit down next to him on the bed while his dad would stand in the doorway, arms crossed, trying his best not to forgive Peter too soon. If only things were as simple as they were back then.

 

"Hey, pops..." Peter trailed off when his dad came into view and he saw the look on his dad's face.

 

"We are about to head out for a mission, but I just wanted to call you before we left. Remember to brush your teeth every night, remember to do your homework, remember to call me every night, just um-" Steve's voice cracked, "Just don't do anything stupid."

 

"I'm sorry," Peter mumbled.

 

"Steve we have to go," Tony alerted with a stern tone.

 

"I love you," Steve blew a kiss in the direction of the camera, "We promise to visit whenever we can."

 

"Speak for yourself," Tony snarled and walks out of the ro

"Bye baby, I love you so much," Steve one last time before hanging up. 

 

That night Peter cried himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was short but I'm aiming for at least 2k words per chapter so updates may be late and this story may be shorter than many of my others. I know this was mostly boring dialogue but it was necessary to introduce the story, what goes on Peter's mind will be more of the chapters that follow. 
> 
> Okay so Peter does something so bad it ends him up in boarding school.
> 
> Problem is I have no idea what that bad thing is going to be so if you guys have a idea leave it in the comments. PLEASE! Luv you bye.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys this is the unedited version of this chapter. This basically means there are probably going to be spelling, grammar, and present/past tense mistakes. I'll put up the edited version of this chapter some time tomorrow, there probably aren't going to be major changes so don't worry. BTW this was edited by burt_macklin_fbi_49 so go check her out. She is an absolute sweetheart. 
> 
> Word count: 1,999 (so close to my goal of 2k)
> 
> Song for this chapter: The Lonely by Christina Perri
> 
> (EDITED VERSION IS NOW UP)

"It's quiet around here without the kid," Clint commented, the next night at the Avengers Tower.  
  
"Yeah," Steve responded with a sad smile.  
  
"He was always running around whenever we were here. 'Clint what's this mission about?'" Clint mimicked Peter's voice cracks along the way.  
  
"I'm so worried about him," Steve mumbled. "We've never apart from each other for more two days and now all of sudden... I miss him so much already."  
  
"Hey, you guys done?" Tony said peeping into the living room.  
  
"Yup," Steve gave Tony a fake smile and got up. He passed by Peter's room and his heart dropped, the bed was still unmade and old clothes were scattered all over the floor. AC/DC posters were all over his walls along with some photos he took on his own. It took him all his strength to not enter the room, knowing it would only start another argument with a Tony.  
  
Meanwhile, Peter was still trying to adjust to his new boarding school life. He sat alone in the cafeteria and kids were quick to mock him. He quickly learned who the jocks, cheerleaders, nerds, and weirdos of the school were. The school's social pyramid was like any other and Peter once again was at the bottom except this time he didn't have Ned. He didn't have anyone, he was all alone.  
  
"Peter?" James said, snapping Peter out of his trance.  
Peter flinched at James tone but bits his lip and looked up anyway, "Yeah."  
  
"There's a party in Sam's room, you going? Only a few get invited," James explained.  
  
"Well, I wasn't invited," Peter mumbled, "Plus he doesn't really like me."  
  
"Yeah, you were," James rolled his eyes, "Now get up and get dressed."  
  
Peter sighed, got up and walked over to his closet. He picked out a flannel and black ripped jeans and quickly threw them on. He hastily walked out of his room and followed behind James. The two tiptoed their way up to the second floor where Sam's room was. You could hear the music from the end of the hallway, but no one said anything.  
  
The two boys entered and quickly blended in with the small crowd. Peter quickly noticed that Sam's room was much larger than Peter's and a TV along with an actual separate room for Sam's belongings and bed. Was this some special privilege? Because Peter's sure that if it was then he should have been invited. But then again not a lot people like his family.  
  
Some random student handed Peter a beer and told him to chug, but Peter gave him a weird look and handed the drink back, he was smart enough to know not to accept an open drink from someone he didn't know. Peter tried to keep up with James but lost sight of him quickly, so he gave up, grabbed a cigarette and sat down in a random corner. He didn't care if people thought he was too young to be smoking, he could be doing much worse. Peter's sleeve dropped down a little, making his recent cuts visible, and he just stared at them.  
  
**_ "Hey Penis Parker, party at my house at 9, be there," Flash informed Peter during Geometry class. Later that night Peter hacked into  Friday , making sure his dads would be alerted to his absence, and left the tower in an outfit made-up of all black clothing. He grabbed a taxi to Flash's house, staring out the window the whole way there. _ **  
  
**_ At the party, Peter was handed free drugs and alcohol. He was hesitant at first but decided to take the hit of weed and then a shot. Drink after drink came his way and pretty soon Peter was drunk. The whole night Peter finally felt something without having to create cuts on his own body, and he loved it. For the first time people liked him, they liked the way he made a fool out of himself, but more importantly, they liked how he wasn't himself. Peter felt as if he was thriving in the party life, he knew it had to do it again, so it became a routine. What started out as once a month, turned into once a week, and pretty soon turned into once a day. The sad thing was his parents didn't even notice, to them he was the same innocent Star Wars loving nerd that they raised from diapers.  _ **  
  
Peter scoffed to himself, the life his parents were sheltering him from. Yeah right, it was the life they were pushing him further into. He pulled down his sleeve and put out the cigarette before getting up and walking to the bathroom. He locked the door before rummaging through the cabinets trying to find something that he could take. He finally lands on a bottle of Adderall, he popped a pill in his mouth and waited for the effects. Half an hour later he wasn't the boring Peter anymore.  
  
Peter felt happy. But that made him sad. Why was that he was only happy when he wasn't himself? Why wasn't he comfortable with his own skin? Why does he need pills to feel better about himself? Why does he care so much about what people say and think of him? Why can't he just he just love himself? Why can't he just be happy? All of a sudden the thoughts got to him and Peter felt his lunch come up. He threw up all over the carpet, causing everything to go silent. People just looked at him with disgust and backed away.  
  
"Jesus Peter, if you can't handle your alcohol then don't fucking drink it. You made a mess all over my thousand dollar carpet," Sam said slowly pushing Peter into a small corner.  
  
"Get the fuck away from me," Peter threatened looking right into Sam's eyes.  
  
"Oh yeah, what are you gonna do about it?" Sam challenged, walking closer. Peter takes a shaky breath and suddenly his fist connects with Sam's face. Sam looked shocked for a moment before regaining himself, "Fuck you, Stark."  
  
He reached forward to slam Peter's head into the wall, but a hand stopped him. "Come on man don't waste your time on him," James mumbled into Sam's ear. "Just calm down, he's not worth it."  
  
Peter took the chance to grab a pack of cigarettes and exit out of the room. He placed his hand on the wall to steady himself before continuing on walking. What the hell was he doing with his life?  
  
The next morning Peter woke up with a headache the size of Asia, but that was expected after the night he had. He didn't want to get up but he had to, it was a school day and he was required to report to homeroom. He brushed his teeth and took a quick shower in order to wake himself up. The after effects of taking Adderall were already kicking in and it was only going to get worse. He put on the school uniform and ran out of his room, but quickly had to walk back in to get his book bag. He skipped breakfast and headed straight to homeroom, not in the mood to deal with the jocks.  
  
The first half of the day went fine, he didn't speak to anyone and no one spoke to him. He wanted to skip lunch but he started getting dizzy and knew that if he didn't eat something soon he was going to pass out. Peter punched in his lunch number and grabbed a slice of pizza and some water. He sat in the far corner of the cafeteria, alone with his slice of pizza. Peter sighed, all he really needed in his life was pizza. Pizza was always going to love him and it's not going to break his heart and leave him. He felt sick as he bit a piece out of the pizza, not eating for a day does have its drawbacks.  
  
He placed the pizza down and looked around, feeling terrible about himself again. Everyone had their own group of friends and everyone had it figured it out. Even the kids in his grade, they all knew what they wanted and how to get it. They were so determined and so confident in what they were doing, and then there was Peter. Peter had no idea what he was even going to do next week and they had their whole life planned. They all had such good relationships with their parents, Peter had overheard some of them talking with their friends.  
  
_ "Daddy is gonna visit me  tomorrow " _  
  
_ "Mum is taking me shopping next week" _  
  
_ "We're throwing a surprise party for my parents" _  
  
_ "Mum and Dad just bought me a new Lamborghini for my good grades" _  
  
Literally, all he had gotten when he had received good grades was a pat on the back from Tony and a hot homemade dinner from his Papa. His parents hadn't even bothered even calling him after they left him in this hell hole. Yeah sure, that didn't sound like a surprising thing coming from a teenager but he really meant it. He had loved school before his parents decided to place him at Harrow. How did Papa expect him to stay a whole 6 months without him when they haven't even spent more than 2 nights away from each other. Even on Avengers missions Papa always made sure to come home after 2 days. And then they'd cuddle, binge watch Stranger Things and fall asleep on the couch. But all of that went down the drain and Peter just had to accept that.  
  
Peter felt a stray tear trickle down his cheek, but he blinked the remaining tears away and took another bite out his pizza. The only thought in his mind was: did anyone even care about him anymore? His parents made it exceptionally clear that they didn't because instead of dealing with his problems they decided to ship him away to a boarding school. The people he had called family never even bothered saying goodbye to him before he left. Ned doesn't even text Peter, they only communicate if Peter texts him first. If was made exceedingly clear that not many people cared. That was if anyone cared.  
  
**_ "He's fighting back doctor!" _ **  
  
**_ "Strap him down!" _ **  
  
**_ "There you go honey, everything's going to be just fine." _ **  
  
**_ "His heartbeat is getting dangerously slow." _ **  
  
**_ "Insert the tube into his trachea, we need to apply suction to remove his stomach's contents. " _ **  
  
**_ "Please stand back." _ **  
  
**_ "We need him on general anesthesia now!" _ **  
  
**_ Peter's eyes fluttered open and he looked around, he was in a hospital bed. The only thing he could think about was how much he had disappointed his parents, they probably can't even look at him now. He's such an idiot, why didn't he just stop drinking? Why didn't anyone tell him to just stop? God if he had just- none of this would have happened. _ **  
  
**_ "Hey, you're awake," a nurse said as she walked in, "I'll go get your parents, is there anything you need before I go?" _ **  
  
**_ "Water please," Peter mumbled as he swallowed a lump in his throat. _ **  
  
**_ The nurse pours a small glass of water and hands him it, "Take small sips, it'll hurt if you just gulp it." _ **  
  
**_ "Why?" Peter knew it was a dumb question but he didn't stop himself. _ **  
  
**_ "We had to pump your stomach, to get rid of all the drugs and alcohol from your stomach," the nurse answered in a soothing voice, a fake smile plastered on her face. _ **  
  
**_ Great now even a stranger is judging him, but he nodded and took a small sip from the glass. He placed it back on the small hospital table and went back to staring at the ceiling. He wished that he was invisible so bad, so that no one would judge him. And no one would- _ **  
  
**_ Peter's thoughts were interrupted when Steve and Tony walked into the room. "Hey, Peter, how you feeling?" Steve said gently as he sat down on the chair beside the bed and grabbed Peter's hand. _ **  
  
**_ "What in the world were you thinking?!" Tony's voice only got louder by every word. _ **  
  
**_ "Tony-" Steve tried. _ **  
  
**_ "No Steve, I'm talking don't interrupt me." Tony warned, "I really do want to know because you're 14, Peter. What 14-year-old drinks and takes drugs?" _ **  
  
**_ "Well I mean you did," Peter says with a shrug. _ **  
  
**_ "See Steve, he doesn't even care. He doesn't realize what he's done and he sure isn't taking accountability for it." Tony paused before taking a deep breath, "That's it, once we get home to pack your bags, you're going to boarding school." _ **  
  
**_ "What the hell? No! Papa say something!" _ **

His Papa didn't say anything, he never said anything. Peter wished he would have said something, just anything. Peter faked a smile and wiped away a cold tear.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (EDITED VERSION IS NOW UP)  
> Okay this is the unedited version of this chapter, feel to comment any feedback or suggestions you have (they are always appreciated and I always like commenting back). Just to clear something up Peter's full is Peter Parker Rogers-Stark but he is usually referred to as Peter Stark. 
> 
> Also bold and italics are flashbacks, Peter's self harm and depression will be discussed more in the next chapter. Thanks for reading and love you guys! ♥


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know that I haven't updated for so long and I'm sorry to anyone who was waiting for a update, but here it is and I hope you guys like it. This chapter was updated by @burt_macklin_fbi_49 so go check her out, she has awesome fanfic also. Hope you guys enjoyed his chapter and don't forget to comment and kudos.
> 
> Words: 2,036
> 
> Song for this chapter: any Panic! At The Disco song

_Tony Stark Once Again Follows In His Father's Footsteps By Placing His 14-Year-Old Son In Boarding School._  
  
_Tony Stark placed his 14-year-old son, Peter, in London's prestigious Eton College. But many are wondering why now? Earlier this year Peter was enrolled in Midtown School of Science and Technology, but he changed schools in the middle of the school year, which typically would be odd had it been any other family. It seems the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, many are speculating that Peter, like his father, was abusing drugs and alcohol—_  
  
"Stop watching that," Tony snapped at Steve, shutting the TV off quickly. "I already have Pepper on it, as soon as she fixes it our son will not be news anymore."  
  
Tony placed his head in Steve's lap and Steve began to gently play with his hair. To say he was beyond stressed would be an understatement. Tony was constantly being reminded of the fact that he shipped his son off to a new school because ever since Peter had been placed in his new school the media had been going crazy. Peter was currently trending on mostly every platform and people were selling old pictures of Peter partying to make a buck. He was doing his best to shut down the stories about his son, but it was no use.  
  
"Well maybe if you hadn't sent Peter off the boarding school in the middle of the school he wouldn't be in cheap tabloids in the first place," Steve muttered under his breath.  
  
"Steve we both know that what we did is the best for him, it's the best boarding school in Europe. I've already done background checks and-" Steve cut off Tony with a sigh. "What?"  
  
"You're acting as if we made this decision together," Steve gave Tony a look.  
  
"But we did," Tony argued, lifting his head up to look Steve in the eye.  
  
"No we didn't, you did. We didn't even discuss a word about sending him until he made that comment that hurt your little ego," remarked Steve.  
  
"Steve I did the right thing, you have to understand-"  
  
"Yeah I'm always the one who has to understand," Steve shook his head in disbelief and walked away to their bedroom.  
  
Tony sat up and looked down at his hands, he was exactly like Howard. This was exactly what he was afraid of.  
  
_**"Tony I'm pregnant," Steve mumbled.** _  
  
_**Tony looked up at Steve with a shocked expression, "What do you mean you're pregnant?"** _  
  
_**"I'm carrying our child, aren't you excited?" Steve asked, fear evident in his voice.** _  
  
_**"I- fuck, Steve I'm more than just excited," Tony pulled Steve into a hug. "This is the greatest thing that has happened to me, to us."** _  
  
_**"I love you," Steve said into Tony's shoulder.** _  
  
_**"I love you too."** _  
  
_**And from that day on Tony promised himself to quit drinking. He promised to spend more time with Steve. He promised to be there. Be there for all the cravings. Be there with all the crying. Be there for all the laughter. Be there for all of it. He promised himself he was going to be a better father than his own. But just like any father-to-be, Tony was unsure if he was actually ready for a baby.** _  
  
_**"You'll do great Tony," Clint promised during Steve's baby shower.** _  
  
_**"I just don't think I'm ready, you know?" Tony said as he looks at a smiling Steve talking to Jane.** _  
  
_**"I'm a father of 3 and I'm still not ready," Clint joked. "Point is no father is ever ready."** _  
  
_**"I just-" Tony stopped talking as he saw Steve walking towards him.** _  
  
_**"Hey," Steve placed a kiss on Tony's mouth.** _  
  
_**"Hey, you need anything?" Tony asked placing his hands on Steve's waist.** _  
  
_**"No, just wondering what you two were talking about in a small corner, away from the crowd."** _  
  
_**"Don't worry about it, Steve."** _  
  
_**Tony was holding little Peter carefully in the delivery room with a large smile plastered on his face and his eyes watery.  Peter was the definition of precious. He had brown hair, large curious brown eyes that mirrored his own, and the smallest fingers that wrapped around his thumb. Tony didn't think he could ever let go of him because,  at that moment, all his doubts went away, all he could think about was how much he loved Peter. He gently handed Peter to Steve and made his way outside the room to alert the others. It had been 14 hours and the team was still outside in the waiting room waiting for the good news.** _  
  
_**"It's a boy," Tony said.** _  
  
_**"You owe me 20 bucks," Clint said to Natasha before congratulating Tony.** _  
  
_**"We all are very happy for you," boomed Thor, pulling Tony into a hug.** _  
  
_**Tony smiled-** _  
  
"You alive?" James snapped his fingers in front of Peter's face.  
  
"Yeah," Peter answered with a small yawn.  
  
"I was telling you about the chemistry homework you missed, since you decided to just skip class today," James explained, handing Peter the homework with a roll of eyes.  
  
"I wasn't feeling well," Peter lied. The truth was he was too tired; emotionally and physically. He silently cried himself to sleep last night after placing a new mark on his inner thigh where it would be least visible to others.  
  
"Uh huh," James shook his head.  
  
Peter groaned, "I've literally been in bed all day, leave me alone James."  
  
He placed a pillow over his head and cuddled closer to his stuffed teddy bear, letting his dark thoughts consume him. How would people react if he died? Would anyone show up his funeral? All of his family was already so disappointed in him, he doubts they would show up. Happy didn't say a word to him throughout the whole trip here. Natasha only gave him an emotionless goodbye. Wanda kissed him a goodbye, but it was anything but sincere. Bruce sends him a get well soon card with a brief message written inside during his hospital stay and nothing else. The last time he saw Bucky was 6 months ago, he didn't even bother to contact him. Clint spoke only a few words of sympathy to him. Ned was there... until he found a new friend to replace him. All of a sudden death seemed-  
  
A FaceTime request from his father broke him away from his thoughts. He lets the phone ring, he didn't have the energy to pick it up. He then received a text message, most likely from his father, but Peter just closed his eyes.

* * *

 

Isolation.

After 3 weeks Peter felt isolated from everyone. He felt as if he was locked away from the world. He felt as if he was the only one who even knew, or cared, he existed. Neither of his dads even attempted to call him after he didn't pick up. He just felt lonely. So he just broke his promise once again and decided to show up to some random dude's party, not that anyone really cared.  
  
He fell into the same routine again. Peter would go to class, did his work and then somehow end up at a party. Other than the first party, Peter never made a scene, people didn't love his presence, but they didn't dismiss it either. Every party was the same, he went, did drugs and drank, talked to a few random people, then came back to his room.

* * *

Peter had become familiar with the large school. After a while, he became accustomed to the way it was run and the way his life was supposed to be for the next few years.

A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts. Peter looked at the door and contemplated over whether or not he should go and open the door. It was most likely James and he had a key so Peter just decided to snuggle further into the warmth of his blankets.  
  
"Hey man, you up?" James asked, opening the door slightly.  
  
"No," Peter mumbled into his pillow.  
  
"Your Dad is here to pick you up," James informed.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You didn't know? We have a break for two weeks."  
  
"Oh yeah, I forgot."  
  
"Should I go get him?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
Peter got up and put on a sweater to cover up the small self-inflicted cuts on his wrist. Suddenly, Peter didn't want to go home, he didn't want to face the people he had disappointed. He just wanted to hide forever, that way he couldn't disappoint anyone else.  
  
"Hey Pete, how are you doing?" his pops greeted with a sad smile.  
  
At the sight of Steve, Peter's heart dropped, it had been so long since he last saw him. His pops walked over to the bed and sat down waiting for a response.  
  
Peter stayed silent for a few moments before speaking, "Just fine."  
  
"Have you packed?" Steve asked fiddling nervously with his keys.  
  
"I didn't know I was leaving," Peter answered curtly.  
  
"Oh, I just thought that Happy sent you the text. I was going to tell you myself, but you wouldn't pick up any of my calls," Steve admitted as grabbed a duffle bag for Peter's personal belongings and began to help pack his thins.  
  
"My phones have been dead for about 3 weeks, It distracted me from school and stuff," Peter informed quietly, not maintain eye contact.  
  
"Make sure to charge it, I have trouble falling asleep when I don't say goodnight to you."  
  
"Can't say the same about me, I guess I've just gotten used to falling asleep without your goodnights," Peter responded bitterly.  
  
The two fell into a long silence, Peter felt tears rising in his eyes. He blinked them away and grabbed the duffle bag from Steve's hands. Steve felt his heart break into a million pieces, he felt so guilty and he just wanted to pull Peter into a hug. He felt as if he had betrayed Peter and he wanted to do something about it, but he knew he couldn't.  
  
The flight back home was long and silent. Happy still hadn't spoken a word to him and Peter gave up. He plugged in his headphones and blasted music not giving a fuck about the world. He knew why Happy refused to attempt at any sort of conversation and it was all his dad's fault. Happy was there for his dad when he was a playboy. He was there when his dad would get drunk and sleep with a different girl every night. He was mad at Peter for becoming like the old Tony Stark, but how was that his fault if it was in his blood. Maybe he should give up. What does it even mean to give up? Does it mean being the party boy everyone calls him? Does it mean slacking off in school? Does it mean death? How does one kill itself?  
  
Peter was scared of the thoughts that went through his mind. He was only 14, why couldn't he just be a normal 14-year-old boy. Why did he have these morbid thoughts?  
  
Peter got up and walked to the bathroom as he felt a wave of anxiety hit him. Later that day he would have to face the people he had disappointed. His worst fear was coming true, he was a disappointment. He glanced back at his father and Happy's sleeping faces before locking the door of the bathroom and pulling out a sharp blade, making the second cut on his inner thigh.

* * *

  
Happy coldly handed Peter his duffle back from the trunk before getting back into the car and driving away. "I'm guessing Happy isn't too happy with me?" Peter commented sarcastically.  
  
"He's just... a little disappointed," Steve answered, placing a hand on Peter's shoulder.  
  
Peter looked around at the security guards, he felt as if they were all judging him. Peter just wanted to hide away from it all. "Is anyone here today?"  
  
"No, but they are coming over for dinner today," Steve explained as they entered the elevator. "Your Dad is currently in a meeting, so I guess you can just freshen up in the meantime."  
  
When their reach their private floor, Peter just does as he's told and heads straight to the bathroom. He locked his bathroom door and carefully checks his wounds and places fresh bandages.  
  
"Peter will you like me to inform your fathers for you?" Friday asked  
  
"No."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave any suggestions or feedback in the comments. Thanks!


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I know that once again I haven't posted in the span of a week but procrastination is getting the best of me right now. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and make sure to check out @burt_macklin_fbi_49 because she edited this chapter and made it 10x better.
> 
> https://data.whicdn.com/images/294293702/original.gif
> 
> The link posted above is the image of how Peter looks in this book. I mean I obviously know that people know how Tom Holland's Spider-Man looks like but I guess that picture represents it better? 
> 
>  
> 
> Word count: 1,810
> 
> Song for this chapter: Human by Christina Perri

"Peter's home," Steve said as he entered Tony's lab. "He seems so..."

 

"Distant," Tony finished off with a sigh.

 

Steve sat down on a chair, "I'm worried, it's only been 3 months and he seems like a whole other person."

 

"He... I... I don't know where I went wrong Steve," Tony shook his head.

 

"We, Tony, where we went wrong. We just needed to be there more. Sure we were off saving the world, but we didn't save the person who needed us the most. I know we tried to be there for him, but we made parenting a side job when it, he, should have been our first priority."

 

"I knew I should have just retired the day Peter was born," Tony muttered under his breath.

 

"I'm so scared sometimes that one we'll get a call telling us that Peter- I just don't want him to do something stupid," Steve admitted in a grievous tone, as his voice cracked and tears dripped down his face.

 

Tony sighed and walked over to Steve, pulling him into a hug. Steve placed his head on Tony's arc reactor and wipe away the tears.

* * *

 

"Peter get up!" A kid screamed into Peter's ear making the poor boy jump awake.

 

"Veronica, what the hell?" Peter mumbled as soon as he recognized who the small human was.

 

"I don't know, Steve told me to wake you up so I did," Veronica shrugged, "Anyway how's boarding school?"

 

"It fucking sucks," Peter answered truthfully.

 

"Hey, I'm only 7 you cannot say those words around me," Veronica shook her head in a disappointed manner.

 

"Just go!" Peter got up and slightly pushed Veronica out of the room. Despite his prior mood, Peter's lips twitch upwards, the closest thing to a genuine smile he's had in a while. It baffles him that he has seen the little girl grow up. He was even in the hospital the day Natasha gave birth to her, of course at the age of 7 he had no idea what was going on. 

 

Peter got up and pulled on a sweater and some jeans, trying to look presentable. Before he reaching the door Peter felt a sudden wave of anxiety hit him and fell back onto the bed felt. He didn't want to see anyone, he just wanted to close his eyes and never open them again...

 

"Peter?" Steve knocked on Peter's door. "You okay?"

 

"Yup," Peter shot his Pops a fake smile as he entered the room. "You know, I think I'm running a fever, maybe I should just stay in my room."

 

Steve helped the boy up, "Not gonna work young man, come on, everyone is really excited to see you."

 

"But, everyone hates me," Peter mumbled. 

 

"No they don't, now come one or I will drag you out myself," Steve warned. 

 

Peter let out a huff before getting up and following his Pops to the living room with crossed arms. Even though his heart was racing Peter still kept a facade, he wouldn't let them see how anxious this situation was making him. Peter entered the room filled with familiar faces and let out a small smile, it felt refreshing to be around people he knew.

 

"Hello Peter," Natasha was the first to speak up when Peter entered the room.

 

"Hi," Peter awkwardly waved before going to sit down in a small corner. Everyone goes back to talking to each other and the atmosphere returns to its original state. Peter feels a jab in his heart, no one except Natasha cared enough to even just mutter a simple hello. Peter just wanted to give up, he was just confused and tired. Why does he feel like people don't care about him? He knew people did but he feels so unwanted. Peter shakes his head to himself, of course, they wouldn't want him, who would want a fuck-up anyway?

 

"Peter, why don't you hang out with the kids?" Asked Clint as he walked up to the slouched boy.

 

"Oh, um," Peter looks up at Clint with a shocked expression. "Okay." Peter quickly got up and tried to walk away from Clint but the man stopped him before Peter could.

 

"At least talk to me before you leave," Clint gives him a look. "How's your stay at the boarding school going?"

 

"Well, it's...great," Peter lied. "How's being an Avenger going?"

 

Clint laughs, "Well I retired years ago so that title doesnt really apply to me anymore."

 

"Oh um-" Peter was just going to awkwardly leave but Bruce called Clint over which saved him, and Peter was thankful for that. He lets out a breath of relief and walked over to where all the children were "hanging out". In reality, they were just on their phones, so like everyone else, Peter decided to pull out his phone and text Ned, even thought he knew how the conversation would most likely end. Ned being too "busy" to text or hangout.

 

[to Ned] hey in town, do you want to meet up?

 

[from Ned] I can't make it

 

As expected Ned was busy, but for once Peter couldn't find it in himself to care. Peter just sat there occasionally glancing at his phone, waiting for someone to say something to him, just anything. After a few minutes, Peter felt like leaving and just going downtown to picking up some booze.

 

"Peter, will you go down to the lab and get your Dad?" Steve asked, breaking Peter away from his thoughts once again.

 

"Sure," Peter replied, but he knew he didn't have much of a choice. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked over to the stairs. He skipped the last few steps before going over to open the glass door. "Hi."

 

Tony immediately stops working and looks up at Peter. Even though it had only been a 3 months Tony felt as if the boy had changed so much. Peter's usual medium length wavy hair was now in desperate need of a haircut and the twinkle in his eyes was no longer there, instead, his eyes looked dull. The more he looked at his son the more evident the changes were.  Even though Peter was wearing baggy clothing, the weight loss was very obvious.

 

"Pops said to come upstairs," Peter informed breaking Tony away from his thoughts.

 

Peter turns around to walk away but Tony stops him, "Peter wait."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"How's um school been?"

 

"Fine."

 

"Have you made any friends?"

 

"No."

 

"Has-"

 

"I think we should get going, Pops probably wondering what happened," Peter says cutting off Tony. He coldly turned around and starts walking to the main room. Tony took a deep breath trying to keep his temper under control. He had to understand that everything he was did be for Peters own benefit, he wasn't trying to be the bad guy.

 

* * *

 

 

At the dinner table Peter was stuck between a Thor and a baby, so to say that dinner was hectic was an understatement. Peter pondered why his parents insisted on having a weekly Avengers dinner. Why do they insist on having a dozen of superheroes and their families eating on one dining table? Over the 14 years of his life, Peter still couldn't comprehend why.

 

"How's school, Peter?" Banner asked as everyone turns to their own, individual conversations.

 

"Well you know, it's school," Peter answered in a neutral tone.

 

"Are you participating in any extracurricular activities?" Bruce questioned the young boy trying his best to keep the conversation going.

 

"What do you think?" Peter retorted in a sarcastic manner. 

 

"Peter I'm just curious about your school, I haven't seen you in ages," Banner explained in hopes that Peter would open up. 

 

"Okay, I'll spill. At first, I tried to join in on group activities, but I suppose the kids don't really like me. So no, I don't participate in any extracurricular activities, nor do I have any friends. So now I just spend the majority of my free time sleeping, crying, or watching romantic comedies," Peter stated matter of factly. 

 

"Oh um-" Bruce got cut off by Veronica.

 

"Dad, can you cut this for me?" She asked handing him his plate.

 

"Sure," Bruce turns to Peter, "Just one second."

 

Peter waited for a few moments before deciding to just get up and leave the dining table. As expected, no one noticed. He locked his bedroom door and locked himself in his bathroom. Peter needed something, just anything to drive him away from reality.

 

Maybe he could take some vodka his Pops saves for special occasions or maybe trying getting his old drug dealer to get him something. Peter frantically pulled out his phone and looked for Nick's number, but it was nowhere to be found. Suddenly he remembered how his dads had taken away his phone and erased all phone numbers of the people they didn't trust.

 

"Fuck!" Peter threw his phone across his room. All of a sudden he felt furious, why couldn't he just stop drinking that night? If he had then maybe he wouldn't have been taken to the hospital and maybe his parents wouldn't have found. Maybe he could have had a normal life, maybe his family wouldn't look at him with such disgust. Everywhere he looks he just sees the faces of disappointed people, people he had disappointed. Peter just wanted to close his eyes and never wake up.

 

"Peter?" Steve says knocking on the door.

 

Peter sniffled before wiping his nose and eyes. He wanted to call out to his father for help but instead just opens the door and plastered on a fake smile. "Yeah Pops?"

 

"You wanna come downstairs, we're watching Black-ish?" Steve asks before looking around Peter's room.

"I'm a little tired, so I'm just gonna try to fall asleep," Peter lied.

 

"Well if you don't feel free to come down to the movie room, 'kay?"

 

"Okay." And with that Steve left Peter's sight and Peter let's out a breath of relief.

* * *

 

"Is Peter alright?" Bruce asked Tony as the pair walked down to the lab.

 

"Yeah, why?" Tony answered as he opened the lab doors with his fingerprints.

 

"He just seems very... distant."

 

"Yeah, most kids are when they return from boarding school."

 

"Are you ever going to give him a chance to go back to Midtown?"

 

"Well, I've discussed it with the principal and he says as long Steve and is willing. Of course along with the fact that Peter's behavior has improved."

 

Bruce sighs, "I just can't believe none of us saw it coming."

 

Tony scoffs, "Yeah you'd think that a team of spies and super soldiers could figure out that their kid was drinking and doing drugs."

 

Bruder said nothing but placed a comforting hand on Tony's shoulder.

* * *

 

By the next morning, Peter had five new cuts on his wrist. Peter hated himself for self-harming, but it was the only substitute he had for drugs and alcohol. Friday once again asked if he wanted to inform his parents of his current situation, but Peter just hacked into the system and turns the function off. Last night he cried himself to sleep, over the joyful laughter of his family.

 

"Peter, Captain is calling you down for breakfast," Friday informed.

 

"Tell him I'm not hungry," Peter responded, voice muffled by his pillow.

 

"Before I inform him, I do recommend going downstairs, your father did wake up earlier than usual so he could make you a meal."

 

Peter sat up and considered it for a moment, "Fine, I'll go."

 

Peter walked into his bathroom and brushed his teeth before pulling on a sweater. He walked down to the kitchen and plopped down on a chair, "Good morning Pops."

 

"Good morning honey," Steve greeted warmly. "How are you feeling?"

 

"Good," Peter murmured.

 

"Veronica was really bummed out that you didn't come to the movie room."

 

"I fell asleep. I was really tired."

 

"So I was thinking, since you're only back for a few days, that maybe you and I could have like a father-son bonding day?" Steve asked with hopeful eyes.

 

Peter looked at his father and thought for a moment, how bad could it really be? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave a kudos and a comment, leave any suggestions or thoughts you had about the chapter. Reading all the comments absolutely make my day!


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the unedited version of this chapter, so they're may be some grammar mistakes. Hope you guys enjoyed it and made sure to leave a kudos and a comment. 
> 
> Word Count: 1,936
> 
> Song for this chapter: Sign of the Times

"Are you ready?" Steve asks Peter as he grabs his phone.

 

"Yeah," Peter answers. "Are you sure there's going to be no paparazzi?"

 

"Yes Peter I'm sure," As a joke, Steve rolls his eyes. "Plus I'm Captain America, I'll just scare them away if they hurt you."

 

Peter let's out a small smile as he follows his father down to the lobby. The two walk out of the tower and into the busy streets of Manhattan. Peter stuffs his hands in his pockets and looks around at the unfamiliar faces all around him. He gets into the car Happy had parked outside for the two of them. Lucky for Peter Steve gave Happy rest of the day off so he didn't have to face Happy once again.

 

"Have you made any new friends at school?" Steve asks Peter as he drives into the Manhattan traffic.

 

"Nope," Peter answers popping the 'p'.

 

"Why not?" Steve asks looking over with a shocked expression.

 

"Because people don't like me," Peter mumbles taking out his phone.

 

"I'm sure if you just talked to them-"

 

Peter cuts Steve off, "Can we just not talk about this, please?"

 

Steve sighs, "Sure." He looks over at Peter wondering, where was the boy he raised? The Peter he knew was always happy and excited about everything. He loved Star Wars, and building Legos with Ned was a way too familiar action of his. The Peter he knew always respected his adults and loved to talk and be social. But this Peter, he was just so sad and angry all the time.

 

_**"Aren't you the most handsome boy in this room?" Steve says to the 5-month-old Peter, blowing raspberries onto his stomach.** _

 

_**"Hey," Clint, Tony, and Thor say from their spots on the couch.** _

 

_**Steve rolls his eyes, "You men need to get over yourselves." He carefully hands Peter to Tony, "Hold him for a second, I need to warm up his bottle." Tony places Peter on his lap, still supporting the baby's back.** _

 

_**"Your small human scares me," Thor states.** _

 

_**Tony rolls his eyes, "Why?"** _

 

_**"Because he's... just so... happy, all the time," Thor says staring oddly at the small child.** _

 

_**"It's normal for a baby to be happy Thor," Steve explains. "All babies are different, some cry a lot and some, well they laugh a lot."** _

 

_**Clint snorts, "You sound like such a middle-aged soccer mom."** _

 

_**"Shut up," Steve shakes his head.** _

 

_**"Watch the language, our child has innocent ears," Tony mumbles with a small smirk.** _

 

_**"You are never letting that go are you?" Steve chuckles.** _

 

_**"Never."** _

* * *

_**"And, and Ned and went with his mom and got ice cream." Peter, now 6 years old, says finishing off his 5-minute rant about his day. Who knew a toddler could have such an eventful day?** _

 

_**"Who's MJ?" Steve asks Peter referencing to what the boy had told him earlier.** _

 

_**"She's just this really weird girl who sits at lunch with Ned and me," Peter explains.** _

 

_**"Calling people weird isn't nice baby," Steve scolds.** _

 

_**"But I didn't mean it in a mean way, I think she's pretty cool. She's got the most awesome curly hair and she's read all the X-Men comics, but she never really talks, she just sits** _

_**there," Peter finishes off with a breath.** _

 

_**Steve chuckles, jeez this kid could talk a lot, definitely got that from Tony. "Maybe you should try talking to her?"** _

 

_**"Stop laughing at my problems Pops," Peter whines which only causes Steve to laugh even louder.** _

* * *

_**13-year-old Peter rushes into the penthouse with the biggest smile and a letter in his hand. "Guys guess what?!"** _

 

_**"You got your high school results?" Tony mumbles sarcastically.** _

 

_**"Yeah, and the craziest thing happened to me. So basically last period they gave us our high school acceptance letters and they told us to not open it but I opened it anyway by the way please mad at me-" Peter takes a deep breath. "Sorry, sometimes I forget to breathe." The comment causes Tony to chuckle, "And then I found out that I got into Midtown right? And then-"** _

 

_**"Peter that's great!" Steve goes to hug Peter but he steps back.** _

 

_**"Jeez Pops let me finish. Anyway, so then MJ and Ned got into Midtown also and then I saw a bunch of kids crying cause they didn't get into the schools they wanted, but that kinda didn't bother me. And then when I got off the train you won't believe who I saw?! Brendon Urie! Out of all the people I met the lead singer of Brendon Urie!"** _

 

_**"Are you done? Because I don't want to interrupt you again," Steve jokes before pulling Peter into a hug. "I'm really happy for you Pete."** _

 

_**"Me too," Tony says before joining the hug.**_  


* * *

  
"Since you love animals so much I decided that we maybe could volunteer at the animal shelter, then we could grab a quick lunch, and finally we could go shopping," Steve explains while parking the car. "Sound good?"

 

"Yeah," Peter answers taking off his seat belt. He follows his father into the shelter. The two hang out for a while, offering to wash dogs or to take them out for walks. Peter spots a small lab puppy in the corner and walks over to it and kneels down. "Hey there," He mumbles before placing the small dog in his lap. "You look really sad," Peter cooed petting the dog.

 

The dog barks and licks Peter's face. For the first time in months, Steve saw an actual smile on his face and Steve couldn't be happier.  


* * *

  
"Peter we have to leave now," Steve informs the boy, who was still playing with the puppy.

 

"Do we have to leave? Look at this cute face," Peter asks holding the puppy.

 

"Are you implying something here?" Steve asks crossing his arms.

 

"Can we keep it?" Peter asks, "Come on please, there are only 2 more months of school left and then I promise to take care of it and I'll feed it every day that I'm home. It's really

easy to take care of, I promise."

 

Steve thinks for a moment, this was the happiest he had seen Peter in 5 months. "Fine, but I'm expecting him to be potty trained by the time you leave."

 

"Yes! Thank you so much!" Peter places the puppy down and goes to hug Steve.

 

"No problem, but now we have to go shopping for your new puppy not you," Steve jokes.

 

"I really don't care."  


* * *

  
After finalizing all the paperwork, Steve decided to drive Peter down to a nearby pet shop. Peter still had the pup in his arms as he walked around the rather large pet store looking for toys and food. Steve just followed Peter and enjoyed the rare smile Peter had on his face.  
Peter couldn't express how excited he was to have a dog, she was something he knew wouldn't be leaving him for a long time. It was like having a younger sibling, he had a small puppy depending on him. However, in a way he was depending on the puppy, who he still hadn't chosen a name for. He was stuck between Tess and Lucy-

 

"Peter?" A familiar voice snaps him out of his thoughts.

 

He turns around to face a familiar face, "Liz?"

 

"Hey, I haven't seen you in so long," Liz says with a shocked expression.

 

"Yeah my parents shipped me off to a boarding school after that night but I'm here for 2 weeks so uh yeah," Peter explains.

 

"Oh, well I'm so glad I meant you here. I felt so guilty that we never had a proper goodbye."

 

"Oh."

 

"How about you-" Liz takes a pregnant pause, "How about you take my number and maybe we could hang out while you're still in New York?"

Peter processes what Liz had just told him, "Yeah sure." He hands Liz his phone and she quickly types in her number. "I'll text you when I get home?"

 

"Okay," Liz places a kiss on his cheek before walking away.

 

Peter turns around and begins to walk away when he bumps into his own father. "Who was that girl you were talking with?" Steve asks.

 

"Just a girl I knew from Midtown, she kinda asked me out on a date?" Peter mumbles, unsure of what really just happened.

 

"Well, Peter that's great!" Steve exclaims, "When is, you know, the big date?"

 

"I don't know, she just told me to text her," Peter answers.

 

"Well if you need help picking out an outfit or anything just let me know," Steve offers.

 

"If I let you dress me no girl would ever go near me," Peter jokes.

 

"Hey! I don't have that bad of a fashion sense."

 

"Sure you don't."  


* * *

  
"So Peter got a date today," Steve says as the trio ate. 

 

"No, I did not. She just gave me her number and told me to text her so we could catch up on things," Peter explains.

 

"She basically told you to ask her out," Tony states. "Who is she?" 

 

"Liz, the one that was my science fair partner," Peter answers. 

 

"You mean the one you've had a crush on since like forever?" 

 

"Stop!" Peter places his head in my hands. 

 

"Alright, I'm kidding calm down. Have you texted her yet?" 

 

"No, I was thinking of doing it after dinner," Peter answers.

 

"Oh and Pete got a new dog," Steve mumbles under his breath.

 

"A what? Did I hear that correct? Did you just say dog?" Tony asks.

 

"Yeah, but you have to understand she had an adorable face and she was just begging me to take her home. Dad, you have to understand we have an emotional connection,"

Peter explains. 

 

"An emotional connection? You've only had the dog for what, 5 minutes?" Tony argues.

 

Peter walks over to the small pup and picks her up before bringing her over to Tony, "BUT look at her face."

 

Tony makes a face, "Get it away from me."

 

"Come on Tony, please. Even I like her," Steve adds to Peter's argument.

 

Tony sighs, "Fine, but it's not allowed anywhere near my things or lab. Deal?"

 

"Deal," Peter and Steve agreed.

 

Later that night Peter decided to text Liz instead of taking that time to make new self-inflicted wounds in his wrists.

 

_**[to Liz] hey, it's Peter** _

 

Peter places his phone down and waits for a reply. In his opinion, he thinks he's pretty casual, just a simple hey, nothing that will scare Liz away. 

In his opinion, he thinks he's pretty casual, just a simple hey, nothing that will scare Liz away.

 

_**[from Liz] hi** _

 

_**[from Liz] I thought you were never going to text me** _

 

_**[to Liz] sorry, I just had a lot to do when I came home** _

 

_**[from Liz] it's fine, I understand** _

 

_**[from Liz] so, how's your new school?** _

 

_**[to Liz] if I'm being honest, I absolutely hate it and I'm like ready to shoot myself** _

 

_**[from Liz] lol it can't be that bad** _

 

_**[to Liz] believe me it is** _

 

_**[from Liz] okay, I'll take your word for it** _

 

_**[to Liz] my hands are getting tired from typing so much.** _

 

_**[from Liz] oh come on, we've barely even had a conversation** _

 

_**[to Liz] wouldn't it just be easier if we just talked face to face** _

 

_**[from Liz] yeah it would be** _

 

_**[to Liz] maybe we could meet up at central park at 3?** _

 

_**[from Liz] yeah, that sounds nice** _

 

_**[to Liz] alright, I'll see you there** _

 

_**[from Liz] bye, have a good night** _

 

_**[to Liz] bye** _

 

Peter places his phone down and falls asleep with a smile on his face. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed it and made sure to leave a kudos and a comment. Also you can leave any suggestions or constructive criticism in the comment section below.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this chapter is shorter than the rest but there is a certain reason why. You'll find out soon.
> 
> Word count: 1,740
> 
> Song for the chapter: Breathe me by Sia

"Pops, can I please go to the park with Liz today?" Peter asks his father during breakfast.

"No," Tony answers for Steve.

"What?" Peter's face fell, the poor boy looked like a kicked puppy.

"I'm just kidding," Tony chuckles.

Peter let's out a nervous laugh, "Haha, yeah."

"Is it a date?" Steve questions.

"Kind of, not really?" Peter answers with a shrug. "I mean, I just kind of asked if we could hang out and she agreed."

"You're going to get friend zoned," Tony shakes his head.

"But-" Peter begins but was soon interrupted by Steve.

"If you want to impress her you need to look presentable and at least need to smell good. So I'm suggesting you take a shower and Tony will help you pick an outfit out," Steve states.

Peter sighs, what has he gotten himself into?

* * *

  
"Ow Pops stop," Peter whines as Steve tried brushing his hair.

"You are in a desperate need of a haircut," Steve comments.

"Yes, you've told me already," Peter rolls his eyes.

"If you roll eyes long enough they'll eventually get stuck," Tony states, with a roll of eyes.

"But you just-" Peter stops himself before he could finish his sentence. "So I'll be leaving now, thank you for helping with my very nice outfit and nicely brushed hair."

"Your welcome," Tony smirks.

"Alright, remember to be a gentleman and- oh here's 20 bucks to buy something to eat or something like that," Steve explains.

"Okay, bye, love you," Peter says before getting in the elevator.

"Love you too," Steve mumbles back.

"He looks happy," Tony states.

Steve smiles, "Yeah he does."

* * *

 

Peter taps his foot on the floor as he waits for Liz on a random corner of Central Park. She had just texted him that she had gotten out of school and was on her way to the park.

To say Peter was nervous was an understatement, he was shaking and he could barely understand what he was thinking. On top of having to impress Liz, he had to worry about paparazzi. Every small move he made it was captured, and there was nothing he could do about it.

"Hi Peter," Liz greets snapping Peter put of his thoughts.

Peter gets up from the bench, "Hi." 

"No need to get up, I was going to sit down anyway," Liz chuckles taking a seat on the bench.

"Oh," Peter blushes and takes a seat next to her. "So how was school?"

"It was pretty normal, nothing really interesting happened," Liz answers. "How has your day been so far?"

"Very boring, but I think it's going to get better," Peter flirts. "Do you want anything to eat, we could grab a bite or something?"

"I'm actually not that hungry," Liz answers. "We can just sit here and talk."

And so the pair did. 

The two teens talked about everything, from puppies to politics. Peter felt a certain spark while talking to Liz, he felt happy. The 14-year-old didn't know why but he did, Liz made him happy. Just the way she talked, her smile and her eyes... it made Peter light up on the inside.

"I think that you look amazing," Peter blurts out as Liz began talking about she didn't like the way her thighs looked.

Liz smiles ear to ear, "Thanks, Peter." The two fall into a silence before Liz leans in and Peter seals the kiss. After a few seconds, Liz pulls back, "I really like you, Peter."

"I really like you too Liz."

* * *

  
"How'd your date go?" Tony asks Peter during dinner after taking note of how Peter wouldn't stop smiling. Not that he minded, this was the first real smile from Peter in months.

"It wasn't a date," Peter answers.

"Yes, it was," Tony argues with the 14-year-old.

"No it wasn't," Peter fired back.

"Both of you stop," Steve says interrupting the father and son. "Peter, how was your little hang out with Liz?"

"It went great Pops," Peter answers with a small smile.

"I'm happy to hear that," Steve says before going back to eating his rice.

"Did you two kiss?"

"Tony!"

"Dad!"

* * *

  
Over a span of 3 days, Liz and Peter had gotten closer than ever. Peter had told her about he was in Boarding School. Peter told her that he doesn't why he feels so bad about himself all the time. Peter had told Liz everything, even about the cutting.

**_"Can I see the scars?" Liz asked as Peter concluded his rant about his cutting._ **

**_"You really don't wanna see them," Peter denied Liz's request._ **

**_Liz placed a kiss on Peter's wrist over the bracelets. Peter knew it was a cliché thing to do, but he couldn't deny the fact that it made him feel wanted and important in someone's life._ **

At the current moment, Peter was waiting for Liz at their usual spot at the large park. Peter was on his phone watching a new vlog posted by David Dobrik when he feels his phone being snatched. Peter looks up and sees the one and only Flash Thompson.

"Flash just give me my phone back," Peter states getting up in an attempt to get his phone back.

"Not so fast Stark, you fucked up my life with your dumbass mistakes and now your gonna get payback for what you did," Flash says with a smirk.

"You got in trouble with your parents because of your own mistakes Flash," Peter argues.

"Stop lying to yourself Parker," Flash rolls his eyes. "We all know what happened that night."

" _You_ gave me drugs and alcohol, that I took and threw back up."

"Because of you, my parents don't even look at me, Parker. My dad hasn't even talked to me in three whole months."

"I'm sorry Flash, just leave me alone," Peter mumbles giving up. Suddenly he felt so vulnerable and alone.

"You wanna know what Liz says about you? Here take a look for yourself," Flash shoves his phone into Peter's hands.

They were text messages between Liz and Flash. Liz stating how annoyed she was with Peter and how ugly and dumb he's become. One even stated that she would be happy that he would cut deeper and kill himself. Peter blinks away tears and hands Flash his phone back.

"She even told me to give you something," Flash digs into his pocket and grabs a small pack of razor blades. "Do us all a favor and kill yourself."

Peter watches as Flash throws Peter's phone on the ground, cracking it, before leaving him alone. Peter grabs his phone and calls Liz, he had to hear it from her.

Liz picks up on the first ring, "Stop calling me Peter, I really don't like you." She hangs up before Peter even gets to say anything.

* * *

  
Peter stuffed the pack of razor blades into his pocket before leaving the park and taking the train back home. Peter didn't know how to feel, he thinks he can't feel anymore.

What did Peter ever do to Liz? She always made the first moves. She was the one who asked him out in the first place. She was the one who kissed him, Peter never forced himself onto her. Peter respected her.

"Peter, this is your floor," Friday informs him snapping the boy away from his thoughts.

Peter walks out the elevator and was met with a house full of people. It seemed like a important meeting, due to the fact that everyone was in their uniforms.

"Hey Peter," Steve greets the boy walking over. "How was your day?"

"Are you guys going on a mission?" Peter asks ignoring Steve's question.

"Yeah, but I can stay-" Steve was about to offer to stay back with the boy but Tony cuts him off.

"We need you there Cap," Tony informs not even looking at Steve while talking.

"It's fine Pops," Peter fakes a smile. "I'll be fine, I'm used to staying alone at this point."

"Peter-" Tony turns around to face Peter.

Peter just cuts him off, "I'll be in my room." Peter walks to his room and closes the door behind him. "FRIDAY?"

"Yes Peter," The AI answers.

"Do you think it would be appropriate for me to leave a suicide note?"

"Peter, there should be no need for a suicide note at all. Shall I inform your parents about your current emotional distress?"

"No, don't do that." Peter locks his door and slowly falls to the ground until he hit the floor. His hands wouldn't stop shaking. He slowly pulls out a razor blade out of the pack Flash gave him.

Is he really that unlikable?

Peter tried to be nice to everyone no matter what they thought of him, that's what his parents had taught him. He always helped Flash with his homework even though Flash pushed him into lockers. He always helped Liz when she needed it even though she always ignored him. Even though MJ called him a loser, he still hung around her. Even though he knew Ned was talking about him about his back Peter still invited him over for movie night.

Did Liz and Flash really want Peter to die so bad that they bought him razor blades? Would MJ and Ned care if he died? Would they even show up to his funeral? What about his parents? How would they react when they find Peter bleeding out in the bathroom? Would they cry? Would they care? 

"Peter your parents have informed me that they are leaving for their mission, they are coming back tonight if things go as planned," FRIDAY informed Peter snapping him away form his thoughts.

Peter wipes away stray tears and walks into his bathroom. He locks the door behind him. He takes out his phone and checks for any new messages he may have received. There was one.

[from Flash] hope you did it

Peter takes out the pack of razor blades from his pockets. He takes out a new sharp blade and places it in between his fingers.

A call from interrupts Peter, but Peter doesn't pick up. Peter throws the already cracked phone across the bathroom. It stops ringing.

Peter places the cold blade on his left wrist.

He presses down.

And he slides it across.

He places the blade on his right wrists.

He presses down.

And he slides it across.

He made sure they were deep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me. I personally feel like it wasn't sad enough so I'll most likely go back and edit it. But tell me what you thought of the chapter in the comments below.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter seven, I hope you guys enjoy it.
> 
> QUICK NOTE BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE: I DID EDIT THAT LAST PART OF CHAPTER SIX SO GO QUICKLY CHECK THAT OUT AND GIVE ME SOME FEEDBACK.
> 
> Word Count: 1,518
> 
> Song for this chapter: Back in Black by AC/DC

"Peter? Happy calls out as he enters the penthouse. Steve and Tony had told Happy to check up on Peter since their mission was to begin delayed as usual. "Friday, can you inform me where Peter is?"

 

"Sure Sir, he is currently in his room but all communication to the room has been turned off I suggest you check it out. I am not allowed to tell you any more," Friday answers.

 

Happy sighs and walks over to Peter's room, this kid will be the cause or his problems. "Peter?" Happy calls put knocking on the boy's room's door. 

 

After a few moments and receiving no response Happy knocks again, "Kid you in there?" After receiving no response once again Happy heart drops to his stomach. "Peter open the door," He demands.

 

Happy twists the knob and opens the door. The room looked clean, Peter's clothes had been picked up from the ground and his bed was made. Something didn't feel right. As Happy got closer to the bathroom he started smelling blood.

 

"Pete you in there?"

 

Silence.

 

"Look, I'm getting scared just open the door okay? We'll take you to the hospital if you did anything dumb, just please... please open the door." Happy pleads.

 

Happy hears the doorknob unlock and Peter open the door.

 

"Happy, I don't feel so good."

 

☓☓☓☓

 

Happy watched as the doctors wheeled down the bloodied boy to a free ER room. Everything happened so fast, Happy didn't even get the chance to inform Steve and Tony. Happy didn't even get the chance to wipe off Peter's blood off his hands.

 

"Sir do you need help?" A nurse asks placing a hand on Happy's shoulder. "Do you need me to call anyone for you?"

 

"No, no, thank you," Happy thanks the nurse before pulling out his phone. He quickly dials Tony's number, he picks up on the 3rd ring.

 

"Hey Happy, need you to make it quick I'm kinda of busy fighting bad guys right now," Tony says.

 

Happy takes a shaky breath, "It's Peter, he-he's in the hospital."

 

"What happened?" Tony asks his voice laced with fear.

 

"He- just please get to Memorial Hospital now," Happy cuts off the phone before Tony could say anything.

 

Happy takes a seat in a chair and runs his bloodied hand through his hair.

 

☓☓☓☓

 

Steve and Tony rush down the halls of the small hospital, both still in their uniform. It all felt like deja vu, this had all happened before... oh yeah it had.

 

"Hi, we're here for our son Peter Stark," Steve informs the nurse at the reception.

 

The nurse looks at two with a shocked look before quickly answering, "He's in room 345 sir."

 

Tony quickly thanks the nurse before rushing down the hall to room 345. He suddenly stops in front of the room, how was he supposed to face Peter? As a father, it was his job to protect Peter from all harm's way but he didn't.

 

"Mr. Stark?" Tony snaps out of his thoughts when he hears someone calling his name.

 

"Yes," Tony answers.

 

"Hi, I'm Peter's doctor, Dr. Sharon," The woman introduces herself.

 

"How's he doing?" Steve asks stepping in front of Tony.

 

"He's currently under heavy pain medication and unconscious. As you may know, he tried ending his life by cutting his wrists but luckily Mr. Hogan found in time and there was no need for a blood transfusion. Um... how about you see him first and then we can discuss the steps that need to be taken to ensure that Peter is stable?"

 

"Thank you so much, Dr. Sharon," Steve thanks the doctor before opening the door to Peter's room and entering. "Oh God," Steve mumbles as he sees the state his 14-year-old son was in.

 

Tony places a hand around Steve's waist to let the man know that he wasn't alone. Tony looks around the room, Happy was nowhere to be seen.

 

"It's going to be okay."

 

☓☓☓☓

 

Steve doesn't understand why.

 

Why Peter decided to try and end his life. Why Peter couldn't talk to him or Tony... anyone for that matter. Yes, Peter had always been a complicated kid but-

 

_**"Peter I don't understand why you just won't eat the chicken nuggets without ketchup," Steve says handing the 5-year-old his plate of chicken nuggets. "And I also can't understand why to refuse to eat dinner if there are no green beans."** _

 

_**Peter simply shrugs his shoulders, "Because that's how life is supposed to be Pops."** _

 

_**"Just leave the kid alone Steve," Tony rolls his eyes. "Eat up kid we're going out for frozen yogurt after you finish."** _

 

_**"Okay but I have to go wear my shirt with the frozen yogurt on it not the one with the ice cream cone," Peter carefully informs his Dad.** _

 

_**"Whatever you want kid," Tony chuckles before looking at Steve who was giving him the book.** _

 

But there were never any signs of mental illness, no signs of Peter wanting to end his life. Steve didn't see any signs of anything ever happening that may lead Peter to suicide. The drinking was just a normal teenager thing to do, it just so happened that Peter got caught. The distant Peter when he came back from boarding school was a one-day thing. Steve really thought that things for Peter were turning up.

 

Tony knows why.

 

Tony knows why Peter tried to end his own life. Tony knows why Peter hadn't tried to talk to anyone about his problem.

 

Tony saw all of the signs.

 

Tony heard Peter crying himself to sleep. Tony saw how Peter constantly changed clothes before going to school because he was self-conscious. Tony saw how Peter skipped dinner after being called fat. Tony saw the cuts on Peter's wrist. He was supposed to talk to Peter about it today. He was supposed to talk to him but he didn't. Tony was too late. He blames himself for everything that's happened.

 

If Tony just would have said something before it was too late.

 

"Mr. Stark, are you listening to me?" Dr. Sharon snaps Tony away from his thoughts.

 

"Sorry," Tony quickly straightens up in the chair.

 

"No problem," Dr. Sharon gives him a sympathetic smile. "Captain Rogers and I were just discussing the next steps you can take to help Peter get through this hard period of time in his life."

 

He nodded, Tony hated the way she way she was talking to him. "I just had a question. I have anxiety, do you think that affected his mental health in any way?" Tony asks.

 

"Of course a mental illness in the family can be a contributing factor but it isn't all the number one factor," Dr. Sharon answers. "So what Steve and I were discussing was that the first option for Peter is obviously placing him a psychiatric ward or hospital. If you decided to take up this option you need to understand that once you sign Peter in he will only be released when his assigned doctor feels that he no longer a danger to himself. With a psychiatric hospital, Peter will undergo group therapy, one-on-one therapy, and activities as simple as drawing and playing sports to help place him in a healthy mindset. At the hospital, he will, of course, meet many different people, kids his age, and even kids who are younger than him going through something he can understand or relate to."

 

She continues, "The second option is taking him home, letting him go on with his normal life, taking medication and talking to a therapist. The third option is doing nothing. Now, I don't like telling parents this but some kids walk out of here and some of their parents literally do nothing. They don't bother them putting on medication and they don't bother with therapy."

 

"Which option do you think is the best for Peter?" Steve questions.

 

"The first one, but I haven't got the chance to talk to him yet so I really don't know how he's holding up or what may have caused him to try and end his life," Dr. Sharon answers.

 

"Peter has also had struggles with drugs and alcohol in the past," Steve informs.

 

"They weren't struggles, he was just being a stupid teenager," Tony quietly argues.

 

"Tony he had to get his stomach pumped," Steve quickly fires back.

 

"You know what you can decide what's best for him because I'm obviously not his father."

 

"I would feel bad for you if you ever acted like one." Steve pauses, "And you wanna know why you get so annoyed and angry with him all the time is because he's just like you. He's stubborn and he's weird, and he gets pushy, and he gets angry and he has a hard time talking to people. He's just like you Tony, and I don't know why you hate that so much."

 

"Because I want him to better Steve!" Tony yells silencing Steve. Tony quickly gets up and brushes the imaginary dust off his pants. "Thank you so much for your help Dr. Sharon, but Steve and will be leaving now."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope guys enjoyed and understood the little Infinity War reference. I didn't do this chapter with a lot Peter because I felt like this one needed its own chapter to have a greater impact.
> 
> Leave any feedback in the comments, really excited to hear it all!


End file.
